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Message to Australia
‘Message to Australia’ gave those who bravely told their story to the Royal Commission an opportunity to share a message with the Australian community about their experience and hopes for creating a safer future for children. These messages were published in a commemorative book that was handed over to the National Library of Australia during the final sitting of the Royal Commission on 14 December 2017.
More than 1,000 contributions were received and will remain as a tribute to survivors’ courage in coming forward to tell their stories and provide a public record of their experience. Messages are available to be viewed below and the book is on display at the National Library of Australia and in all state and territory libraries.
Content warning: material may be confronting and disturbing. If you need help visit support services.
It was tough as a mother to tell my son's story to the Royal Commission but hopefully will help prevent future sexual abuse of our children in institutions. My son was killed in MVA after recently revealing his abuse which happened 27 years ago.
So many Christian institutions saw child sex offences as "morally wrong" but not legal wrongs. So sad. They then had the hide to deny these crimes and further deny compensation. Thanks to the Royal Commission to deny these crimes in the future.
For those of us who have witnessed and testified at this Commission, there are many more whose deaths or illness or fears silenced them. Therefore we speak for those who couldn't. Truth is, as they say, a two-edged sword and the "telling" is as painful as it is liberating but it cannot be any other way since this illness runs deeply into all of society, it takes an effort just as deep to remove and heal it.
We need to get the word out for those who were not brought up in institutions. The chance to go to the Royal Commission means what was built inside you all these years can come out. The staff wouldn't believe you. We had to keep things to ourselves and lie about it. I am really glad now that people are really believing us. Now we can move on with our life because you only live once.
For 35 years I was too ashamed and embarrassed to discuss what happened to me. The Royal Commission will address the disgraceful mismanagement of institutions to abuse happening right under their noses! The Royal Commission has given me the courage to discuss my abuse with my family and to seek closure.
I feel Australia will not move forward with child abuse until it redresses the past enforced abusers. The mentally ill parents, state policies, religious and other organisations allowed to care for orphans, and "orphans of the living" of which I and my three siblings were in 1959. I hope our stories will help.
I found the private session a cathartic experience as this was only the third time in nearly 50 years that I have told anyone what happened to me as a child. I believe that this Royal Commission is extremely important in discovering the extent of the abuse and is the first step in my dealing with an issue I have been struggling with for the past 50 years.
They say everyone has their own war stories; well, these are ours. We tell our stories not just for ourselves, but for future generations. Hear them, take them, use them. Make sure everything possible is done to ensure no more war stories like ours are written. Our war stories have shaped us into what we are, we are left to imagine what we could have been.
Difficult to go through the experience but I was overwhelmed with warmth and comfort. What I would suggest is that the RC send out a message of warning all those families who have blamed their member who was abused - that was more than abuse itself.
For over 45 years I suffered what I now understand are the after effects of having been sexually abused as a child. I was always angry, unable to keep and establish friendships and forever, felt lonely and lost. Where once I had 'purpose', I became incapable of finishing anything and lost the ability to concentrate long enough to achieve any goal. I drifted without purpose using and abusing every conceivable drug, drink in pursuit, I thought might make me happy, along the way, suffering institutionalisation (no my brain can work sometime!) in prisons and rehab facilities. I am happy that with Mr Justice McClellan's kind understanding he will help to stop the abuse of all the children in the future.
Thank you for the opportunity to meet me and hear my story. When I wrote it I didn't think my story was important as I thought only those who were abused by priests were listened to. As a blank person being neglected and then raped by strangers caused emotional suffering for many years. Thank you.
Being a part of the Royal Commission has given me the permission to acknowledge that my abuse didn't happen in a vacuum, but in the midst of a community. I thank the government and the Royal Commission for all that they are doing to help the nation realise that as a large community we are all responsible to protect all of our children.
To all those who have spoken up about paedophiles, suspected terrorists, criminals, corrupt organisations, abusers of all types - well done!! Your testimony will be engraved in the Annals of The Land of the Southern Cross, Australia. Commissioner Andrew Murray, thank you; and more power to your arm.
No institution has the right to use its authority or power to abuse, degrade or vilify anyone, regardless of age, gender, mental capacity, sexual preference, religion or financial means. The abuse of one human being by another can never be condoned or sanctioned. No institution is above the law, and no institution can hide behind its influence, social standing, or political acumen to escape responsibility for its actions and the actions of its members. Such injustice is a blight on our system and the people who purport to uphold and stand by it. "The unjust are an abomination..." [Proverbs 29.27]
I was 11 when it started. Since my teens I have been haunted by a poem of Emily Dickinson "I felt a funeral in my brain". After 40 years of suppressing memory I have spoken about my childhood experiences. In time I hope to learn how to live with some tangible relief from depression, anxiety, fear, anxiety, anger etc. The Commission was generous and compassionate.
The Royal Commission was brilliant. To be heard for the first time, after being blamed for opening my mouth, for the first time I was believed. I personally hope this is not the end, blame should be on their heads. Thanks again.
You are a worthwhile person, be kind to yourself. It was not your fault. You are suffering Post Trauma Stress because you were and still are in a War Zone psychologically. Be kind to yourself. Do not commit suicide because the abuser/s win if you do that. I know it's hard. Three (3) things can typically happen to you and remember these things are common amongst survivors and are 'normal': 1. You become frigid and find it hard to maintain 'normal' relationships but what is 'normal' anyway? 2. You become promiscuous in your behaviours but who is to say what 'promiscuous' is exactly. 3. You feel like you want to perpetrate the abusers' behaviours but you don't. In fact you become very protective of yourself and others, especially children. You don't trust easily, if at all. Tell your story to everyone. Name and shame your abusers. Tell everyone what creeps your abusers are. Don't accept 'Hush Money' from those who are supposed to be looking after your interests. An apology needs to be 'In Writing' - make many copies and send it to everyone you told including authority figures who may not have believed you or covered up. This does not necessarily mean that those who perpetrated the act or those who covered it up are truly sorry. Remember a paedophile cannot be cured. Blank. A paedophile protector is as bad as a paedophile, this includes those who wanted to pay you to shut up. A paedophile's threats may be real, you don't know who they know but have courage because usually the threats are just that. Don't let bad people destroy your belief in God this is exactly what the Devil wants. If you're an Atheist or Agnostic, disregard this advice. Compensation needs to be paid to you. Not just a few thousand dollars. Your life has been ruined. What is a life worth? Priceless but if you take into account a lifetime of wages, missed opportunities, superannuation, holiday, leave loading and all of your other entitlements that you missed out on then many millions of dollars compensation is not unreasonable. These institutions can afford it and they need to pay it, along with a good house of your chaise, a car, options on a business, maintenance on all of these and all of your bills paid for the rest of your life. These institutions get together and decide on how little they can get away with in compensation and stall the process. Send them broke because they are paedophile protectors. There should be a 100 year annual payment/stipend so you and your family/friends can have a good holiday every year. If you should die this payment should be included in your will. All of this should be Tax Free. Please see attached message: You are a worthwhile person. It was not your fault. An apology needs to be in writing. This doesn't mean that the abuser is truly sorry. You need to be compensated in the amount of many millions of dollars. This will show true sorrow for having protected paedophiles. Institutions decide on how little they can get way with in compensation. This stalls the process. This indicates how little they care.
Rarely do you ever get the chance to speak to people who want to listen to your story of violence and sexual abuse. Whilst it was difficult to relate my story, I believe the Commissioner understood. Please don't let Australians forget us because our stories need to be told so we never let this happen again.
Although this took an emotional toll on me, I felt it was an important step for my healing process. Each day since telling my story I feel like the heavy black cloud that stayed with me all of this time is moving away. To know that I don't own the guilt is helping me to move on. Thank you so much for making me feel normal and most of all for believing me.
I have always been upfront about my sexual experiences at the hand of the Brothers since 1954. This had done nothing for me as I was disbelieved by all. Do I still have nightmares, you better believe it. Thanks to Commissioner Murray for the first time I received a true and fair hearing. Four homes at fault, government and plus.
I still feel the same what happened and anger with the world. My life will never pick up. I'm so angry to know if you do a crime at 16 years of age you don't go to jail. I did jail at that age. Not happy about my life. There are times I wished the hell I was dead but I'm glad I told my story. Hope some day I can move on with and forget, I cannot yet, I might take with me when die.
Royal Commission to me is justice, it will end. The child sexual abuse in institutions and the future, we speak for those who died and committed suicide, those who spoke up but were never believed. Also, wipe out corporal punishment which was an accepted practice. Also adults who supervised children were not screened for suitability. There was an expectation that the state and churches could be trusted to care for children. Without a Royal Commission, sexual abuse would still go on. Thanks to the Royal Commission without them, the churches now are starting owning up to their responsibility after realising what happened to children, "really did happen". Normally when a wrong is done, "compensation is a must" for hardship, pain and immoral suffering. The Royal Commission can override (anything). Royal Commission have power and the authority to put a stop forever to child sexual abuse. Thank you your Honours.
Lost childhood, lost innocence. Life clothed in silence, shame, guilt, unworthiness. Mask worn tightly, holding the fractured mind and body together. Self-doubting, fighting to survive, seeking a life beyond the gripping memories etched within my soul. Thank you, for the opportunity to 'share my story' within a safe and respectful environment. I am a survivor endeavouring to create a sense of hope and a voice for all children in the future. But I want to 'more than survive'. I want to begin living a life of true freedom and happiness in mind, body and spirit. To embrace life.
Thank you Australia for supporting me in testifying in a private session of the Royal Commission. Everyone was so supportive. This is the most enabling, empowering thing I've ever done. After 5 decades, I am finally toddling forward; no longer the victim/survivor I was. From victim to survivor - now to live as a thriver!
I sincerely thank the Royal Commission for allowing me to tell my story. Thank goodness times have changed. The mental damage cannot be erased but I have learnt to live with it. Your help in erasing the pain is greatly appreciated. Only death can bring ultimate closure and end the suffering.
Thank you for listening to history of child abuse in homes that I was in. It was very hard for me, living the life of sexual abuse by the fiends in those homes. I thank those in Open Place in Melbourne for all their help and trying control the hate I have. Thank Justices for listening to us. Once again thank you to all.
I thank the Commission for affording myself and my family member the time to get my problems out of my system. It has done myself and my family good to speak of, and show my inner trials of 50 or so years. The cure I was looking for was not forthcoming, but at least I am assured that my problems have been recognised. I thank you for listening.
I am grateful that I finally had the opportunity to tell my story to the Royal Commission. The Commissioner and all the staff were very understanding. Hopefully the Royal Commission will implement screening requirements to avoid such institutional abuses happening in the future and that the government will complete such.
I am glad I've spoken out and let this burden out. I was so afraid to say anything and I hope government people think of another way to protect children because what happened hurt and stay forever in my heart. But this has helped me knowing it's not my fault. I thank you all for your help.
I would like to thank the Royal Commission for standing up for all the children that have been abused and killed in the system care. I honour you for being there for the people whom have suffered such crimes. All governments need to stop covering up their crimes. Let children be children without being abused. Give children their rights back. Please end the suffering from such crimes. You, as in the government, you have abused you powers, you have abused our rights. You have abused the family rights by stealing children from their wonderful homes to abuse the children. Why? In love of God please I am begging you stop covering up such crimes. End suffering child abuse. I ask you this, would you do this to your children - No. Why do such crime to our children? You have no right to.
The Road to Destruction was told on the 28/8/2014 to a lovely team, Royal Commission, "My lady" was special to tell my story. Now the "Road to Destruction" may get smaller. I thank you for being there for us abused children. Thank you.
Talking to the Royal Commission has made me feel clean. Australia has a motto children should be seen and not heard. Australia change your motto. Children must be seen and heard at all times. Thank your Royal Commission for being there for people like us, you listened when no one else would. Thank you.
Sharing what happened was a really difficult decision. I had to open myself up and let myself out. The fear of not being believed was still there after all these years. But being heard - really heard - being believed was an incredible turning point for me. I feel like I am finally free. Thank you.
There are aspects to humanity most would rather not believe are true, understandably, but until we see them and name them how can we be free? How can we evolve? Thank you for listening. Thank you for seeing, shining light into the dark.
Being a whistle-blower is scary. Full of self-doubt about what you are witnessing - why don't others see or report what I see. I pass information on to the relevant people, some is acted on, but most perpetrators escape or are moved. Speaking to the Royal Commission staff was affirming. They acknowledged the impact on my wellbeing and career. I hope some of the recommendations I made are put into practice. My burden of knowledge has been shared and welcomed. Thank you.
In my mind, what happened to me over half a century ago was at the lower end of the scale, but I can still recall the incident as if it happened yesterday. I can't imagine what people must be going through who suffered other forms of sexual assault or abuse. I can imagine that it could totally destroy your very essence. Someone most famously said something along the lines of 'All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing'. So I shared my story in case the perpetrator continued on and affected the lives of others. If my story helps support others or gives veracity to their story and brings them justice, maybe in some small way, evil will be thwarted. So, my message is 'never stay silent'.
Since the age of 3 years my life has been full of not so nice times and memories, unable to form a lasting relationship and unable to trust anyone with my darkest secrets of my past. It was good to sit and talk to the Commissioner at my private session and tell him my story. I left the meeting feeling received. I think a background check on future foster parents should be done!! I wouldn't like to see another child's life ruined like mine was.
I too kept quiet what happen to me for 45 years, but now I have told my story. I know it doesn't give me my life back but I feel a step closer. Me having a life even though I'm an 'alco and druggy' but playing my didge to my 'Aboriginal spiritual ancestors' and getting back to Mother Earth is helping me heal!! (I am 53 years old).
This man, one year younger than my own father, did not respect the precious God-like part of me, or of himself, as he repeatedly violated me instead of looking for what he needed in his relationship with God. If that statement "Looking for love in the wrong place" had to be said to anyone it should have been said to the priest - not to me!
A gentle touch, a kind word, a smile - never came. They never called me by my name. A wrong caress, a smothered mouth, a cry - always came. They cemented my fate by my shame. I cry now for the safety of the innocent one to protect children in the future to come.
Being a survivor of sexual abuse and domestic violence is so hard to talk to anyone who I can trust. The only one I trusted died of cancer in 2011. But to all, please speak your mind on this topic. Children of every race are to be protected against these predators. Report them to anyone who will listen. Our children are a gift from God.
My story to the Royal Commission was one of trying to report sexual abuse to the people who should have known better blank. I was bullied, told the children were making it up, threatened with my job. I refused to listen and was lucky that the perpetrator was charged. Since then, living in this community I have seen the consequences. This man had been doing this in our community for at least 10 years and went on for at least another six years at the private schools. The chance to speak to the R.C. allowed me finally to tell a story that had plagued me for years. Some people even tried to stop me then. Thank you for the opportunity. A perpetrator sets up a tight nit web - the chance to break that was liberating.
I have had a life of drug and alcohol abuse and a criminal history, to support my habits. This is because of the child sexual abuse that happened to me, that I have bottled up for 42 years. I would like to see justice done, so this child abuse never happens again in Australia or the world. I would like to thank the Royal Commission for giving me the strength and courage to come forward and tell my story and may God bless all survivors and the ones who didn't survive. Amen.
My experiences have helped mould me to become the person I am today, strong, resilient and robust. If it wasn't for the people like Commissioner Atkinson who was kind enough and sensitive to my needs I wouldn't of been able to tell my story. Thank you.
Shakespeare said, "Grief needs words". So true. This Royal Commission gave me a voice to say those words that needed to be heard. Silence is never golden and understanding the difference between positive and damaging secrets is a key for young people to step forward. Don't compare our experiences or the impact on our lives with each other's. We are all courageous and determined. By the fact that we have been able to share our stories illustrates our resilience. I am ready to fan the flames towards openness regarding the community's need to acknowledge the impact of child sexual abuse.
The sharing of my story of how I grew up as an orphan, a child in care, a ward of the state in which I had "no rights of any justice". Having grown up in an era of "children's attitudes of an unquestioning respect" for the power of authority of institutions, in which they only spoke and we the children couldn't by society's norm that "children should be seen but not heard", which provided the failures and wrongs of abuse by the power and high risk environment of failing the children in their care; through any rights of protection or care inform practises and policies and procedures to report these offenders in these positions, such an act of unforgivable betrayal, and a denial of justice for too long... Now. This Royal Commission has helped rectify considerable wrongs back into a rightful time of redress in history of responsibility of child-centred to protect the children in their care. Safeguarding and securing justice for survivors of these heinous crimes of its very best outcomes and redress at long last of this systemic issue for its healing process. To have its own process of righting the past wrongs. Rightly so, back to the Australian society safely and respectfully and responsibly so. For our next generations forward and to come to learn from this acknowledgement.
Thank you for caring and listening! I hated myself, I tried hard to kill myself. I felt unclean and dirty. I hated my parents, the police, the community and people. I hate being touched by someone trying to care and love me! I can't even have a relationship and I'm confused! I want to love, trust, care and be warm to people. No more drugs or sex work!! One thing I've done is forgive and love the Lord. xoxo xoxo
Alone, always alone, abused, alone, crying , hurting, confused, alone. No-one came. I suffered alone, no-one to talk to; no-one to tell. I couldn't fit outside of me, I didn't understand inside of me. Torment; terror; panic; inner screams; anguish; torture. No-one came. Decades of therapy dim my pain - scars remain. Finally after nearly sixty years, someone came - thank you. For the powerless and helpless still - please never again!
The Commissioners who listened to my story on the effects of child abuse on my 2 boys were sensitive, focussed and provided an atmosphere of trust. The pent up anger of 22 years was released that day as the justice system let us down. My children made the almighty effort to report it to the police and hopefully with the detailed evidence that I provided changes will be made in the legal system.
Love your children and don't ever trust anyone with them, children rely and expect they are safe and loved by their parents. Do not let them down just love and protect them, they are precious and are our future. PS: It is not true that all sexually abused children grow up to be predators. Most of us grow up to love and protect our children from the things we feared.
As a child we are taught to respect our parents as well as teachers, priest and all adults, at the beginning of our learning. So as a child brought up on these beliefs and taught to obey adults, how can a confused child speak up when they are being abused, when it goes against everything they were taught. And so scared of the shame at what they have done, and what was done to them.
At the age of 6 my life changed forever and my spirit was shattered. November 2014 saw final restoration begin when I gave private evidence at the Royal Commission. Please Australia open your hearts and minds to the true devastating horror of this paedophile plague across our nation. Agitate and cry out for Restoration, Restitution and Responsible accountability. Most of all protect our children, above all else. They are our future!
The hard part is over - was opening up and telling my story and I now am on the road to being heard and cared for! But I pray for the strength to endure a hard life, but it's my journey now to a better life, and so this never happens to no other children and making our children safe and they can be happier and be in a safe place. I do not pray for an easy life, instead pray for the strength to endure a difficult one!
Despite the evil and the devastating impact sexual abuse has had on my life and inevitably the rippling effect it has had on my relationships with my family and friends, I am so grateful to the Royal Commission for the opportunity to tell my truth. The abuse took away my voice as a child, however four decades on I have been empowered by this opportunity to speak. Together, as a society we all have the responsibility to make changes to protect the children of the future through education and awareness. In life, there is no place of secrets.
Sharing my story has been an amazing achievement. I am a 41 year old Aboriginal woman. I had struggled through my years feeling not safe and loved. The pain inside of me had me feeling like I was in pieces. I had no one to guild me, no one to listen to me. Now I shared my story I feel light, I feel strength within me, I have found my voice and I want to share my strength to help others just like me. My name is blank and I'm standing on solid ground now.
What happened to me as a child has affected me all my life and the first person I have ever told about it was the person from the Royal Commission. It was a sense of relief opening that closed door in my past memories and it has made me think maybe if I'd opened up about it when I was young I might not have turned to drugs and crime. All I can say is don't let yourself be affected as long as I did it's not your fault. Thank you.
The Royal Commission and SAMSN were the first step that I had announced my story or abuse. I'd been silent about my situation for nearly 40 years. I was very scared and hesitant to come forward due to the fear of the unknown, of how people would accept or more importantly in my case, believe me. I can honestly say now that I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. * NB Lastly I must say that I'm still not comfortable in what happened to me, however now I'm comfortable talking about it.
I walked in today with dread thinking this meeting would just be another sweep through, but I got a surprise, as it was a very sincere meeting, and I really felt and appreciate it. I was able to express a lot of my troubles over the years due to the horrible experience. For all in the future I honestly hope this will work out a sensible solution for the future.
Forgiveness was the key that unlocked my tormented soul to walk in the freedom and purity of my youth... My wilful decision to bear no grudges have kept me from the destruction of insanity that I pray my children and their descendants will never have to inherit in the years to come. Honesty... Humility...and Truth. xxx
Thanks to the Commission for listening to the victims and doing something for all of us. Allowing us to tell our stories and being believed. This disbelief is the hardest part of sexual abuse and it damages our souls longer than the abuse itself. Thank you. Please let us, the once silent voices raise our heads.
When I left my private mediation session I felt a certain relief come over me, and I also felt full of admiration for the Commissioner who heard my story. I made the decision early in my life that no child of mine would experience the physical abuse and neglect that I had endured. I also made the decision that I could not change the past but I could influence what happens today, tomorrow and in the future.
Train your children - your students, relatives, all those under your care and instruction - listen to their feelings. And if someone does something to them that makes them feel sad or yucky, they should - no, must - tell an adult they trust. Even if the person says not to. Telling an adult if something sad/yucky happens is always the right thing to do. They are a precious child, who has the right to always feel safe.
It was validating that two Commissioners heard my story, that three teachers in state schools sexually abused me is on record. For me this data is the beginning of understanding and hopefully reforming how institutions respond to sexual abuse. I hope there is a greater effort to resource recovery of survivors.
I am grateful for the Royal Commission, it has brought me out from the past to be heard. I appreciate the questions the Commissioner asked me. Also the words the Commissioner expressed to me, I will gain strength from whenever I have self doubts.
Christians' core beliefs are mostly lies especially the "immaculate conception of Mary" was most likely a child raped by Roman soldier(s), centuries later it is turned into a miracle, one of many fake events caused by God; other fake events are world flood as are, parting of the red sea, to resurrection!!
Contributors were given editorial guidelines to help them prepare their message. These guidelines advised that messages containing identifying information or offensive language would be redacted or not published.