Stan's Story 
After being relinquished by his mother at the age of two, Stan had been placed in several orphanages before arriving at the Christian Brothers' orphanage in Victoria. Brother Benton came to the orphanage in 1953, and not long after his arrival he started sexually abusing 12 year old Stan. 'It's taken me 59 years to get to the stage of being able to talk like this', Stan said. 'When I got out, I never told anyone I went to that school. I was so ashamed.' Stan said he was sexually abused by Benton three times a week for more than two years. He told the Commissioner he didn't talk about it with other boys at the time, but was now aware that Benton was abusing others. Stan knew of two boys who later committed suicide. 
One day, during a drive, Benton pulled the car over and started to touch and fondle Stan, who burst into tears. Benton stopped, but sometime later made Stan come to his room, undress and perform oral sex on him. 'I couldn't tell anyone. I can't explain why - the main feeling was being ashamed, plus there was no one to tell.' Benton told Stan that he was 'loving him like a father'. He bought him a watch and gave him money and cigarettes. 
Stan met his wife, Kerry, in 1961 and they married soon after. He continued to have contact with Benton because 'I wanted to make out that everything was fine, that nothing went on with us at all'. When Benton came to their home to see the couple's new baby, Stan implored his wife not to leave Benton alone with their son. Kerry thought Stan's behaviour odd, but he didn't tell her about the abuse for another 20 years. Stan said, 'I came out of that place wanting love and I found Kerry. I didn't want to lose her'. Kerry said that knowing the truth of what Stan had gone through had been difficult, but had ultimately made 
them closer. 
In 2006, Stan discovered that his mother had died eighteen months earlier. They'd had little contact in the intervening years, but Stan said her death 'triggered something and I went to my doctor'. Stan disclosed the abuse and was referred to a psychologist. He was also given legal advice and it was recommended that he get in contact with the Catholic Church's Towards Healing program. 
A senior staff member of Towards Healing visited Stan at home to assess his story. Stan asked if he'd heard of Benton abusing boys and the staff member said he had. 'It was a huge relief off my shoulders.' Stan asked if he wanted to know what happened with Benton. 'He said no and offered me $20,000.' A law firm working with Stan sought $50,000 but the Church wouldn't agree. The matter continued until 2010, when it was settled with a payment to Stan of $210,000, which included $30,000 for legal fees. 'I wasn't looking for payment of that type. I was wanting something that would let me say, yes, it's finalised 
and acknowledged. What happens to you as a young boy, that stays with you. It doesn't matter what compensation you get.' Persistence from Stan's son also resulted in Stan receiving a letter of apology from the Catholic Church. 
Stan told the Commissioner that he was looking forward to his 52nd wedding anniversary. He's close to his three children and looking forward to the wedding of one of his grandchildren. 'I don't have any trouble showing love with my family, because that's what I always wanted. Badly.'